Nega-trons and the simple solution

A couple of days ago, a friend of mine asked me about how I handled negative comments on the blog. It wasn’t really something I thought about a lot because, happily, three blogs and countless posts later, I have yet to receive ones that really chilled my bones to anger. Irritation yes, partly to those who posts spams, at times disbelief at the hilarity of thoughts shared against my opinion (the entry on Charice collected quite a number of interestingly passionate fans who was ready to fight to the death to defend their singing idol…). But that is what blogs are about, a place where you can post your thoughts on certain themes or topics, most likely one that you are very interested in.

Now, of course, what most people don’t understand that blogging as Diplowife, comes with certain conditions. Unlike my previous blogs, this blog is something that in some ways connected to my husband’s job, one that is very sensitive and complicated. What most people don’t understand that there are a lot of things of that I can’t just write about, I could if I really wanted to but I don’t, because that is not just who I am.

The problem lays on the fact that some people seem to think that just because the root of our entries is because of our husband’s choice of career, we must always base our thoughts in the shadow of that reality. That we must at all times consider the things we write and say and do – and we do, believe us we do. But that doesn’t always mean we can’t be ourselves.

So at the beginning of making this blog, I set up some rules, which included not to talk about the nitty-gritty of JG’s work, and should I really have to, I must make sure, that I put a disclaimer, that everything I put is my own opinion, and is not shared by my husband, nor the Embassy that he works for.

That said, another thing I would like readers to understand is that, us Diplowives, like most women, made certain sacrifices to be where we are now, not just as Diplomat’s wives but wives who want to be with their husband, whose job happens to be something that requires him to move around.  While there are a lot of good things about this life we chose, there are certainly many negatives as well.

Sure there are the Diplomatic receptions, coffee meetings with all kinds of nationalities, and the opportunity to see the world and travel – some parts do sound glamorous and intriguing. But most of the parts include life away from family and friends, for some careers left behind, mundane days of chores and endless things to do, culture shock, language barriers, and all sorts of adjustments from things new and unfamiliar.

I consider Diplowives like me lucky because today we have the means to at least let out what we go through in our unique little lives through blogs such as these. At least for me why I write, how I write, and what I write about is a result of a means to share and be heard, despite some conditions that come with it.   My blog is a compilation of experience and the things I AM fascinated in, while making the most of the lot I have been dealt with.

Another great thing about blogging a la Diplowife is through our blogs we find each other, and learn from each other. Others like me write about really serious stuff, but most of us just write about different sorts of things in our own corner of the world. I write mostly about observations on culture and society because those are the kind of topics I am interested in, some write about art, places to eat and go; the things that they buy, use, or wear, because once again that’s their thing.

In Filipino we have this very “street” saying Walang basagan ng trip, which basically means not to criticize other people’s thing no matter how much you don’t get it because you have yours and that is theirs, the key is learning to respect that.

Besides it all boils down to one simple solution, whether it be a Diplowife blogger, or someone who writes Justin Bieber fan fiction if you don’t like what they say or write about, then don’t read the blog. 

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2 Comments Add yours

  1. I am very impressed with your blog. Clearly your time and effort have had a marked impact on other families living in unique and dynamic situations abroad.

    I work with a company called IDS. We have developed means to reach diverse group of families working and living abroad who have children with special needs. We have a range of specialists available to consult onsite and now remotely, through Insight from Offsite. Our service offerings have recently been supported by the Office of Overseas Schools and the Office Medical Services Child and Family Program.

    If you would like to learn more about our programs, please visit http://www.idsalliance.com/for-families/insight-offsite/

    We would love your feedback as well as an opportunity to answer any questions you may have. I’d be happy to arrange a Skype meeting with you at your convenience if you were interested.

    Thank you for your time and keep up the great work!

    Sincerely,

    Richard

    Richard P. Fleitas, Psy.D.
    Licensed Clinical Psychologist
    International Diagnostic Solutions

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