It’s official, JG and I are leaving for Tripoli in two weeks for his first posting. Actually we’ve known for more than a month now, and I would’ve written about it then if I wasn’t getting scared over it.
Months ago, the thought of living abroad seemed really exciting. And some, even I in a different perspective, would think that I am lucky. Others go overseas to earn money, and will have to handle homesickness alone. Whilst I can go with my husband, and only have to worry of taking care of him.
But I know it isn’t that easy, and in my life, nothing I expected ever turned out the way I thought it would. Which is why I have been refusing to think about it these past few weeks. I am convinced that the less I think about it, the less I would expect, and the less disappointed I would be, when things don’t turn out the way I imagined it would be.
I guess it’s because I don’t have any idea what life in Libya would be like. We all have a certain idea when it comes to western and European countries, but I never really thought about North Africa since JG and I learned of his assignment. I have been reading about it through Post Reports and the Lonely Planet, but still leaves some questions no report or book can answer. The uncertainties makes it harder, even a bit scary.
Also, I still haven’t gotten over the nervousness of being a Diplomat’s wife. These past few days, I have been to couturiers and dressmakers to have formal dresses, business suits, and Filipinas made. And if you know me really well, you would understand how weird all this is for me. Let’s just say I’m not exactly the picture of elegance and grace. And don’t even get me started on hosting parties and events, I haven’t even organized a kid’s birthday, I don’t even organize mine!
Lastly, there’s my family. You would think that marrying a diplomat, and knowing that living on another continent, thousands of miles away; you would’ve already accepted that as your fate. But we haven’t left yet, and I am missing them already. Technology today, will definitely make things easier, but God forbid something happens to them, it scares me to think that I can’t be there in as soon as I would want to be.
JG would probably say that I’m being too personal in my blog again but this wouldn’t be a Diplowife’s blog if I didn’t post my concerns. Of course, I know that I will have to find a way to get over, even dare say conquer these fears that I have, especially as the day of departure gets nearer everyday. However, at present I’m not there yet. But I will do my best to get there, and will write about it as soon as I do.