JG and I have now been officially married exactly 22 days. But I guess it takes a lot longer for things to actually sink in. I don’t know if I should be guilty about saying this, but there are moments when I still forget that I’m married now. That it’s really official. I realize now what wedding bands are for; wedding bands are not just to tell other people that you are not single, but as a reminder for the wearer themselves that their single status is indeed no longer single. And whenever I feel the shiny metal around my finger, a rush of emotions always passes through me.
First comes the mild shock, the same kind of feeling you get when you remember something you should’ve never forgotten in the first place. “Ay, oo nga pala noh!” I say to myself. It’s not that it is not that irrelevant to me that I forget it sometimes; it is more like you know when you just had your birthday and you don’t feel like you’re comfortable at being at that age, as suppose to how old you are last year? Or like when you take a quiz in class right after Christmas break, you write the previous year on the date and suddenly remember that it is a new year already. A force of habit.
Next I feel suddenly mawkish. The same kind of feeling you get after hearing a corny joke. Wherein your head just told you that it processed a ridiculous notion but you can’t help but smile despite it. Or to some people, including me, will find it really funny and laugh their heads off. Or yes, you make the same reaction when you remember a corny, yet really funny joke you heard earlier; and you try to control the laughter bubbling inside you because you’re in the jeepney with a bunch of strangers.
It doesn’t stop there though, next comes irritation. In defense to JG, I don’t get irritated at him directly, but at the many adjustments we both have to make now that we are living together. He has things he is used to that don’t work with me and vice versa. In defense to me, a lot of the adjustments I have to make are mainly due to his obsessive compulsive behaviors. One example that I’m really having a hard time getting used to is that he has to set his alarm at three in the morning. That’s not the bad part, the bad part is that he doesn’t get up; he leaves it at snooze mode every ten minutes until six a.m. Imagine hearing a loud beeping sound every ten minutes for three hours. Someone (I forgot who) joked with a knowing wink, that I probably wasn’t sleeping much since I’m a newlywed. I exasperatedly answered, “You have no idea…”
Brace yourself, here comes the mushy part. After feeling shocked, mawkish, and irritated; I remember how much JG means to me and the many other things married life brings. I don’t have the exact word, but it is the same feeling you get when you get to a nice place after a long journey. After finding something you’ve been looking for in a long while. When you feel like you don’t have to be anywhere else but there, or that you wouldn’t really want anything else. I remember a description now, happily contented and in love.