Quoted

JG and I are not big fans of Valentines, so we just spent the weekend relaxing at home. Although this is our first Valentines as a married couple, previous experiences have taught us that making eventful plans alongside all the other couples in the Philippines is just stressful and pressuring, not to mention awkward.

Anyway, something more interesting happened to me last Friday. My blog and a portion of it were mentioned in another blog by a former UK diplomat. It was interesting because I never thought that anyone other than JG (which does it due to marital obligations) reads my blog. Unfortunately, his comment about my blog isn’t positive. He was in fact, as JG put it, making fun of me a little.

 Let me first say that I am not mad nor is this entry any ways of firing back at what he wrote, he was just siting his opinion and I respect that. Like I said, I just find it interesting to know that someone bothered to read my blog, thus is worth writing about.

Anyway the blogger is Mr. Charles Crawford, and his entry was about the many diplomatic blogs coming out, and its different kinds. You can just go to the link, so you can see for yourself, (JG says I should just let it go and that I’m just giving the guy more publicity, but I don’t mind). But here is the part that he wrote about me.

“And here is a newish blog by a young diplomatic wife Diplowife and her Misadventures. She tells the world more than maybe the world needs to know about her biological functions, plus she maybe could work on some hard-end negotiation technique:

Unfortunately, kids don’t like me. I don’t believe in physical discipline, which is why I don’t spank my nieces/nephews/younger cousins when they’re being difficult; they probably know I don’t have the heart to hurt them, which is why most times – they spank me.”

http://charlescrawford.biz/blog.php?single=784

I wasn’t surprised when JG actually agreed with what Mr. Crawford said about me, that I was being too personal with my entries, and giving too much information. And as JG pointed out, that there’s a difference between a diary and a blog, and I should avoid writing about things people doesn’t want or need to know.

Just to be clear, when I made this blog, I wasn’t really thinking about people half-way across the world. Maybe to use as inputs for his blog, Mr. Crawford googled “diplomatic blogs”, and came across mine; I can imagine his disappointment when he didn’t find anything that discussed international relations or consular concerns. I just really wanted a place where I can write my thoughts on things. It just so happens that I married a diplomat, which made me into a diplomatic baggage. That is a big part of who I am now, so I thought of using it as a theme for my blog.

If my blog misleads other people about its contents, that’s unintentional. And I do want to write about diplomatic topics, but more on the lighter side like travels and cultural diversity, but I leave the politics and all the intellectual stuff to JG. In fact, I don’t like politics so much I do not even exercise my right to vote,(I’m one of theose people who doesn’t see the point) what more improve my “hard-end negotiation techniques”.

And besides I also said that aside from being the Diplowife, I am also a young woman who is adjusting to married life and its challenges. And I strongly believe that pregnancy and child rearing are things someone in my position considers and gives much thought, thus believing it important and relevant to write about in my blog. And as shameful as it is that I cannot even stand up to an infant who resorts to physical means, that was the truth, and I really don’t see anything wrong in writing about that. Do you?  

 

22 Days

JG and I have now been officially married exactly 22 days. But I guess it takes a lot longer for things to actually sink in. I don’t know if I should be guilty about saying this, but there are moments when I still forget that I’m married now. That it’s really official. I realize now what wedding bands are for; wedding bands are not just to tell other people that you are not single, but as a reminder for the wearer themselves that their single status is indeed no longer single. And whenever I feel the shiny metal around my finger, a rush of emotions always passes through me.

First comes the mild shock, the same kind of feeling you get when you remember something you should’ve never forgotten in the first place. “Ay, oo nga pala noh!” I say to myself.  It’s not that it is not that irrelevant to me that I forget it sometimes; it is more like you know when you just had your birthday and you don’t feel like you’re comfortable at being at that age, as suppose to how old you are last year? Or like when you take a quiz in class right after Christmas break, you write the previous year on the date and suddenly remember that it is a new year already. A force of habit.

Next I feel suddenly mawkish. The same kind of feeling you get after hearing a corny joke. Wherein your head just told you that it processed a ridiculous notion but you can’t help but smile despite it. Or to some people, including me, will find it really funny and laugh their heads off. Or yes, you make the same reaction when you remember a corny, yet really funny joke you heard earlier; and you try to control the laughter bubbling inside you because you’re in the jeepney with a bunch of strangers.

It doesn’t stop there though, next comes irritation. In defense to JG, I don’t get irritated at him directly, but at the many adjustments we both have to make now that we are living together. He has things he is used to that don’t work with me and vice versa. In defense to me, a lot of the adjustments I have to make are mainly due to his obsessive compulsive behaviors.  One example that I’m really having a hard time getting used to is that he has to set his alarm at three in the morning.  That’s not the bad part, the bad part is that he doesn’t get up; he leaves it at snooze mode every ten minutes until six a.m.  Imagine hearing a loud beeping sound every ten minutes for three hours. Someone (I forgot who) joked with a knowing wink, that I probably wasn’t sleeping much since I’m a newlywed. I exasperatedly answered, “You have no idea…”

Brace yourself, here comes the mushy part. After feeling shocked, mawkish, and irritated; I remember how much JG means to me and the many other things married life brings. I don’t have the exact word, but it is the same feeling you get when you get to a nice place after a long journey.  After finding something you’ve been looking for in a long while. When you feel like you don’t have to be anywhere else but there, or that you wouldn’t really want anything else. I remember a description now, happily contented and in love.

 

 

 

 

The Book, The Wife, & The Blog

 These are the facts: I recently got married. I’m only 24. And my husband is a Diplomat. So basically, I’m a young newlywed, who has to not only adjust to married life, but to culture shocks of life abroad. And this is what mostly what this blog is about.

But first, let me explain the title. Diplomatic Baggage I got from a book, my then boyfriend gave me for our anniversary.  The book is about the real life accounts of writer Brigid Keenan as a diplomat’s wife. Which is why from the title alone, the book caught my interest because those were the times when JG (my husband) and I were seriously talking “marriage”.

I enjoyed the book because it was really funny the way Keenan recounts her life as she and her husband moves from one continent to another. But aside from the humor, I thought that it was a good perspective of the life of a Diplomat’s wife.

However, I must say that there is a big possibility that her experiences would be different from mine. Because the author and I don’t have much in common; in fact come from different worlds. Keena was a budding a writer when she married AW, whilst I can only brag about a short writing stint in college. She came from a rich family and studied in an English Finishing School, while I’m but a humble product of our public school system where you learn to be tough first before the actual lessons. She knows fashion and high end style, while I buy clothes from surplus shops and ukay-ukay. You get the picture.

This makes it even more difficult for me because there is an idea that as a Consul’s wife, you are expected to be equipped with social graces and should be a good hostess. I talk and literality walk like a boy, and has never hosted a party, not even a children’s party. Sometimes I think that I am a disgrace to JG. Compared to his friend’s partners who are doctors, executives, and co-officers; I have yet to find success.

This brings me to a few things Keenan said in her book that I could really relate to. In the book she talked about being an appendage.  10% of our country’s populations are OFWs, and to some people, I am lucky for the mere fact that I get to go abroad. (And even though we haven’t left I already get those, “Ang swerte mo naman…”comments, when I tell them about my husband and his work). But as Keenan said in the book, Diplomat’s wives have no identities, instead are only extensions of our husbands.  I get to go abroad not because I am successful or want a more comfortable life for my family, I get to go not because of my hard work, but because of my husband and his job. 

I wish I could make something of myself on my own, but due to love, and not to mention that I don’t have the brilliance JG has to land me a kick ass prestigious job like his, I must be the one to make the sacrifice. The truth is, being the idealist that I am; I was a little hesitant to get married, because I wanted to take my career or the lack of it, a notch higher. Or even settle to gaining a masters degree. But my wise mother said, that maybe my luck isn’t here, but is wherever JG’s posting takes us. Which was reasonable, when I thought about it, because not only do I get to be with him, (instead of enduring a long distance relationship if I decided to stay) I also get the chance to go global. But still, should I find my success when we leave, it will still be through my husband’s job.

at wedding day

Don’t get me wrong, I love my husband and will not regret my decision of marrying him. Another thing Keenan and I have in common and she put it exactly the way I feel about JG, “I admire him more than anyone. He is disciplined, dutiful, hard-working, clever, thrifty, stoic and funny. And I am the opposite.” We both married men that are very different from our personalities, in my case, these traits are the same reasons I fell in love with my husband. Even if he can be really difficult most of the time; in reality, I wouldn’t last a month without seeing him. Although it’s not always perfect and happy, I really couldn’t imagine getting married to anyone else. So marrying him is really just a matter of prestige versus love. And as idealistic as I am, my being romantic and overtly emotional over passes everything else.

Since JG hasn’t been posted yet; my continental adventures as a Diplomatic Baggage has yet to be written. At present, the blog would be mostly about me since there are still other aspects in my life, married life, life in the Philippines, and my continuous quest to finding my own success (in accomplishments big and small) before I leave it all behind to fully become a trailing spouse.